Time Enough to Get it Good
by Storlock
Summary: AU, takes elements from both the film and short story. Jack turns around and heads back after Ennis sends him away. What might have been...
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Notes: "Brokeback Mountain" tore me up good when I saw it. Never has a film ever had characters so real and empathetic for me. They're as real as fiction gets. I saw the film before I read Annie's brilliant short story, and while I'm not at all sad that the Jake and Heath made Jack and Ennis easier on my mind's eye than Annie's would have been, there were a few small things in her story that didn't make the film, faithful as it was. I have borrowed freely, mixed and matched the two to get what I needed to write this. The writing has been cathartic, and while all real stories end in death, Jack and Ennis wouldn't rest in my mind 'til they'd had a shot at happy ever after. I know many others have given them that shot, but they wouldn't rest 'til I did it myself. Don't worry, I have a plan, and this story will get finished. This is my first fan fic, any feedback is much appreciated. Oh, and this story hasn't been proofread by anyone but me, so apologies for all typos and grammatical errors._

**Time Enough to Get it Good: Chapter 1**

**August 23rd, 2004**

_The mare pranced under him, restless from the long spell standing still. It was as if she knew her rider had fallen into a brooding, dark as the thunderheads which stacked up against the mountain's peak, and was anxious to take his mind off his troubles by getting on the trail home. He brought her to stillness with the absentminded ease of one who's spent more than half his life on horseback, and returned to his vigil, staring out from the top of the ridge line at the vast meadow before him. The land ran into rocky hillocks which climbed ever upwards, becoming the broken peak of the mountain, reaching up toward heaven. The land before him was empty now, the sheep being pastured elsewhere this time of year, and the vast emptiness before him hung in counterpoint to the emptiness he felt inside now, an aching loneliness which, when it came upon him, dwarfed in size and scope the wide open spaces of fierce natural beauty which comprised his world._

_"Gonna be a rough one, ain't no doubt", he said, to no one in particular. He kept his vigil a few moments longer, then turned his mount and began to pick his way carefully down the slope._

**March 11th, 1975**

Jack Twist couldn't keep his face from splitting into a grin so broad it was like to break his head in half, not that he tried too hard. It was less than a day since he'd gotten that postcard from Ennis, that glorious, magic slip of 3 x 5 card stock which changed his whole life. As he made the turn off of route 41 onto the rough dirt road which ran to Ennis Del Mar's tiny house, his mind was filled again with that moment at the post office, when he'd read that message and his heart had started racing. He didn't even need to take the postcard out of his pocket, he knew it by heart after once reading...

_Jack,_

_Me and Alma's divorce came through in November. Looks like I'm _

_a free man again. How's April for you?_

_Ennis_

He'd barely said a word to Lureen as he'd packed a duffel with a change of clothes. She'd given him hell for taking off on one of his "fishing trips" at no notice, but like the affection in their marriage, the anger was just a show, a play they put on for the audience that was the world, or sometimes just their son, or sometimes no one but each other. Jack cared for her, true enough, but she never did and never could set his belly on fire and make his blood race the way Ennis could. He hoped she'd find happiness after the split, though. She deserved it. As for Bobby, well... that fat bastard L.D. had already run any respect Bobby might've had for his father into the mud. Jack would miss Bobby something fierce, but he doubted Bobby'd miss him a lick. This was probably best for everyone. He thought again about Ennis' postcard.

Jack cut loose with a thundering whoop, and slammed his palm against the steering wheel.

"Hot DAMN!", he shouted. Up ahead he could see Ennis' shack. "It's about damn time, Ennis Del Mar, you sonuvabitch!" He couldn't wait to see the look on Ennis' face...

* * *

Jack scrubbed hot tears out of his eyes. Damn Ennis, anyway. He got himself back under control, only to find the North Texas scrubland landscape sliding by outside his windshield turning wavy and blurred again a few seconds later.

_"I'm real sorry, Jack, you know I am..."_

Eighteen hours. Eighteen hours he'd driven, no sleep, racing all the way, fueled on the notion that they'd finally, finally have a life together. That dream had lasted a fast two minutes once he reached Ennis' place.

Why was Ennis so afraid, anyway? Jack knew he'd seen some hard shit as a boy, knew that Ennis feared for Jack, much more than for himself, when he pushed Jack away and said that they'd get killed if they were ever found out. Well, who the hell was Ennis Del Mar? What gave him the right to decide for Jack Twist what risks he'd take? Jack knew Ennis thought he needed protecting. Jack, though, had as much pride in him as any other cowboy (though sometimes, with Ennis, with L.D, he swallowed his pride, it was easier), and he couldn't help but feel that Ennis thought he was weak. Well, he wasn't swallowing his pride now. _Let 'em come, by damn!_, Jack thought to himself. _Ennis, you sonuvabitch, I ain't letting you fuck up our lives. I'd rather risk a short life with you than a long life alone, and that's a fact. And by damn, you're gonna see that you feel that way too._

Jack pulled the wheel hard over, tires screeching through a U-turn that almost rolled his truck. He started back the way he'd come, on the long road, fourteen hours back to Ennis' place. He'd have to stop and rest this time, but even a stop and sleep didn't dampen the burning rage which held his heart in strange companionship with the hopeful and determinedly happy notions in his head. He'd make Ennis see reason if he had to pound it into him.

* * *

Ennis sat alone, like he always sat, like he always lived, save the brief sparks of happy companionship he shared with Jack on their "fishing" trips. The afternoon light spilled in through the dirty windows, as he thought back on the day before. He was wishing now that Jack were with him, damning trickster fate that Jack could've been with him. Not two hours after he'd sent Jack away, Jenny fell ill and he'd had to take the girl home. Junior decided to stay home, too. He knew he'd upset her, upset them both, his mood right foul after Jack's visit. _What'n hell'd he come up for, anyway? _Ennis thought to himself. _Wasn't s'posed to meet 'til April. Damn Jack, why you gotta tear me up like this? Why cain't I ever find peace without you around?_

Ennis wasn't a man of many words. He didn't understand his own feelings half the time, but as little as he understood the feelings of himself, and others, he felt with a depth and pressure that frightened him, and the only way he knew how to deal with those passions were to keep them smashed down inside. Still, on some level, Ennis knew the answer to his question. Part of him couldn't handle how he felt about Jack, a part of him which shouted at him every time they were together that what they did was wrong, sinful, damning them to Hell. But another part of him cried out to keep Jack close forever, the part that couldn't hold it in after their four year separation and admitted to Jack that he never shoulda let him go. That part of him tore another hole in his heart every time he and Jack parted. He didn't know how he could stand it the next time Jack came and went. _Boy, if you cain't fix it, you've gotta stand it._

Ennis was so deep in thought that he missed sound of someone pulling up in front of his house. He didn't stir from his reverie until he was startled to wakefulness by the pounding on his front door.

"Ennis! Ennis Del Mar, you open up boy, you hear me?"

_Jack? _Ennis couldn't believe his ears. He came to his feet, headed for the door, confused, and happy, and angry. Confused that Jack was there, happy that they could have a couple days together, and angry that Jack had come right back when he'd known that his girls might be there. As he reached for the door handle, happiness won.

"Jack, what'n hell're-" Ennis started to say, but came to a halt as he caught Jack's eyes, saw fire there like he'd never seen. He only had a heartbeat to ponder this before Jack unloaded a solid right hook to his temple, and his world exploded in a flash of color and pain. Ennis tumbled onto his backside, sliding back and knocking into the dining room wall. As his vision cleared, he saw Jack standing over him like a wrathful Angel of Vengeance.

"I've had it with your bullshit, Ennis Del Mar!" Jack said, his voice loud and somewhere south of a roaring shout. "Nine years, nine years I been watching you bury yerself in misery, and I cain't hardly stand that I keep following you down. I tell you what, boy, you are NOT gonna make our lives hell no more. I don't give a good GODDAMN how afraid you are that someone'll come after us, I ain't no coward and neither's you, and we ARE taking a chance at bein' happy!"

It took the length of this speech for Ennis to come to his senses and his feet, but he only heard a tenth of what Jack had said. The happiness which had won out moments ago was pushed aside by the anger the welled up underneath. Ennis was never a man to stand down from a fight, and as riled as he'd have been if Jack hadn't said a word, he was doubly enraged now. He hadn't heard, or more rightly hadn't understood, most of what Jack said, but the tone was clear and that was enough.

As Ennis came to his feet he launched himself at Jack, taking him in the gut with his shoulder, and lifting him as they propelled backward, their fall measuring the length of their bodies even as they skidded back under Ennis' momentum. Jack's back slammed against the door, which had closed behind him, blowing it off the hinges as they crashed down the porch. Their world was reduced to rage and honesty as they pummeled each other, hammering punches to head and body, wrestling and scrapping and laying blows hard and fast, each almost unaware of the assault of things long unsaid as it poured out alongside the violence.

"You done this to me, Jack fuckin' Twist-"

"Fuck you, you son of whoresome bitch, Ennis Del Mar-"

"-you made me so's I cain't stand being without you-"

"-you gonna learn I ain't weak, boy-"

"-you made me nothing, put me nowhere, I hate it that you made me sinful-"

"-and you sure as shit ain't keeping me in misery with you-"

"-and I ain't letting you git away with it, Jack fuckin Twist-"

"-and you're damn sure gonna fuckin' take a chance with me-"

"-goddamn me I cain't help it no more-"

"-or by holy Jesus you ain't never gonna see me again-"

"- goddammit, Jack, I love you!"

They were both on their feet, shirts torn and dirty, breath coming in ragged gasps, bruised and bloodied and squared off to keep pounding 'til one of 'em dropped. Ennis didn't even pause to wonder at the look of shock on Jack's face as the man dropped his guard, mouth hanging open, and Ennis' next punch thundered home square in his face, and knocked him skidding to his backside in the dirt just as he'd laid Ennis out moments before.

"Git yer ass up, boy!", Ennis roared. " I ain't done with you!" Jack just sat there in the dirt, a stupid, shit-eating grin spreading across his busted lips, blood running down from his nose as he started to laugh. Ennis felt his anger cool at the sight of Jack's beautiful smile, blood and all, though it didn't go out. As the anger ebbed, confusion took its place. "What?", he demanded.

"You said you loved me", Jack said simply, his face-splitting grin downshifting to the wry crooked smile which Ennis knew meant he'd done something to amuse Jack.

"The hell I did", said Ennis, uncomfortable, thinking back on the words that'd poured out of him as they fought and trying hard as hell to remember. Damn if he hadn't said...

"Did so."

"Did not!"

"Did so."

"I did-!" Ennis began, but finally, miraculously, the wall he'd spent a lifetime building inside cracked, just a tiny bit, and a staggering weariness leaked through the gap. "I did," he said, in a tone that sounded like sigh of a draft horse bedding down after dragging the plow all day. "I did, and I do." He paused. "I love you, Jack fuckin' Twist. But I told ya, we cain't be together. We cain't never be."

Jack smiled again, then his eyes turned serious. He extended his hand, and Ennis grasped it, pulling the man to his feet. Jack reached out, wiped the blood from under Ennis nose with his sleeve as he had those long years ago on Brokeback. Jack put his hand gently to Ennis' bruised cheek and firmly lifted his face to meet Jack's eyes as Ennis tried to look away.

"You hear me good, Ennis fuckin' Del Mar," Jack said, his voice as grave and commanding as Ennis had ever heard it, even though he barely spoke above a whisper. "I never, never thought I'd ever hear you say that. And I ain't never once thought I'd hear me say it neither. But I love you, Ennis. I love you. I love you so much I can hardly stand it, sometimes. And maybe folks think what we got is wrong, and maybe even sometimes we think so too, but I tell you what, Ennis, I cain't believe the good Lord'd make us feel love like this and then damn us for what we feel. This ain't wrong, Ennis. It ain't. Ain't nothin' wrong with you, ain't nothin' wrong with me. I reckon somethin's wrong with the world if somethin's wrong with anything. And you hear me good, Ennis, I don't give a damn how bad it might get, nothin's gonna be as bad as a life lived without you."

"Jack... Jack, I..." Ennis muttered, unable to get the words out like he wanted, crushed under joy and terror at the things Jack was saying.

"I know you wanna protect me, Ennis, that you think we might get ourselves killed, like you saw old Earl get killed. Let me tell you something, Ennis, I ain't weak. I ain't never been weak, and I ain't no coward, and neither're you. I miss you so much when we're apart, Ennis... I swear to God, I'd rather have as much time as we can have together, short 's it might be, than a long life of misery apart. I say let 'em come, by damn, and I'm gonna beat the shit out of any man tries to lay his hands on you 'cause you're-".

Jack stopped, suddenly, unable to say it, Ennis knew, unable to speak the only word he had for what they were, what they wanted, but somehow knowing that it wasn't right, that it couldn't mean what Ennis and he were. All his life he'd known that was a dirty, awful word, an awful thing to be, and even now that his feelings came rushing out and he declared his love, Ennis knew part of him couldn't bring that word past his lips.

"Queer?" Ennis whispered. "I reckon we are queer, Jack. Least I am. Never wanted a woman like I want you. Never wanted no one like I want you." He paused, gathering his thoughts out of the maelstrom in his head. Something Jack said had stuck out.

"Where'd you get the notion I think yer weak? I know you ain't know coward, Jack. Hell, you're braver'n me, and that's a fact. You always was the dreamer, Jack. Always trying to get me to dream, too," Ennis said, muttering so much by the end of his words that nobody could've understood him. Nobody but Jack.

"We can do this, Ennis," Jack whispered, pulling Ennis into him, pulling so close their forehead's touched. "We can make it, Ennis, we can have a good life, a fuckin' real good life."

"Jack, we cain't. I want to, Jack, I want to, I do, but-" Ennis felt tears brim up in his eyes, burning tiny trails of pain down his face as they spilled over and flowed across his bruised and cut skin.

"It's alright, it's alright, it's alright," Jack breathed, his voice barely audible. Ennis' mind was catapulted back, back to that night of wonder and fear up on Brokeback, when he'd stretched himself to the limit to give in to his heart's desire, and Jack'd cradled him and guided him like a skittish foal that was like to bolt, with the gentle love Ennis had come to hold so dear.

_"It's alright... it's alright, it's alright..."_

Ennis cried himself out on Jack's shoulder, Jack continuing to whisper "it's alright", stroking Ennis' back, the nape of his neck. Somewhere in the middle of his weeping, before his eyes dried themselves out, his tears of pain and fear and longing became tears of joy, a joy so big his heart swelled from it. Ennis pulled Jack closer still, enfolded Jack in his arms, nuzzled his neck, whispered in his ear.

"Little darlin'..."


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Notes: "Brokeback Mountain" tore me up good when I saw it. Never has a film ever had characters so real and empathetic for me. They're as real as fiction gets. I saw the film before I read Annie's brilliant short story, and while I'm not at all sad that Jake and Heath made Jack and Ennis much easier on my mind's eye than Annie's would have been, there were a few small things in her story that didn't make the film, faithful as it was. I have borrowed freely, mixed and matched the two to get what I needed to write this. The writing has been cathartic, and while all real stories end in death, Jack and Ennis wouldn't rest in my mind 'til they'd had a shot at as happy-ever-after as two peoples lives might get. I know many others have given them that shot, but they wouldn't rest 'til I did it myself. Don't worry, I have a plan, and this story will get finished. This is my first fan fic, any feedback is much appreciated. Oh, and this story hasn't been proofread by anyone but me, so apologies for all typos and grammatical errors._

_Many thanks for the reviews so far! I've gotten way more than I expected, and the positive feedback has made it much easier to write this next chapter. Apologies in advance: I'm crazy, crazy busy at work with a new project my company just picked up, so the only time I have to really sit down and write is on the weekend. I'll do my best to post as often as possible, but if I can only get one chapter a week up please don't hate my guts. :) This isn't the end of the story, as I'm sure you can all tell by the chapter openings, though it almost was. I was sorely tempted to leave it here, but I think I need to tell the rest of the story._

**Time Enough to Get it Good: Chapter 2**

**August 23rd, 2004**

_The first few drops of rain began to fall as he forded his horse across the stream, fat drops which spatted against the brim of his hat, the sound made loud to his ears by the quiet of the wood. As he reached the far side of the water, the rain began to pick up, falling faster and thicker, the distant rumble of thunder warning of the storm to come. He pulled his coat tighter about himself and picked up the pace._

**March 13th, 1975**

Jack woke up, not remembering where he was, at first. As he drew his first waking breath, he felt the throbbing fire of ache along his ribs, and like hounds on a rabbit the pain in his limbs and head rushed in on him. Then, Jack remembered where he was.

_You're a right ol' fool, Jack Twist. Yer lucky Ennis didn' beat you senseless._ Jack would've never thought in a thousand years that he could go toe to toe with Ennis. He figured there must've been someone upstairs looking out for him. Or, maybe he was tougher than he gave himself credit for. Either way, Jack wondered what had made him turn and come back. He thought he'd made peace with how life was gonna be, and now that he'd gone and let his heart lead ahead of his brain, he knew he needed to figure out where things were going from here.

The warmth of Ennis, pressed up against his back, intruded on Jack's fuzzy thoughts and somehow eased the hurt in his bones. _Only fair_, Jack figured, _seein' as Ennis put the hurt there'n the first place_.

"Jack?" came Ennis' quiet mumble at his ear.

"Yeh, Ennis?"

"You awake?"

Jack let out a quick snort of laughter. "Yeh, reckon I am."

Ennis pulled him closer, tighter, said nothing for a while.

"Jack?"

"Yeh, Ennis?"

"I fig're... I fig're I cain't handle you leavin' again."

"Me neither."

"We cain't stay together, Jack, you know what'd happen."

"Ennis... 's like you jus' said. We cain't handle comin' and goin'. I cain't no more Ennis. If I go, I gotta stay gone, but I surely will live my days unhappy. But I cain't com'n go no more Ennis."

Another pause, shorter than the last.

"Why'd you come back, Jack?"

"Well, I don't rightly know. I was just wonderin' that m'self. I was nearly home, and somethin'... somethin' grabbed hold of me, Ennis. I was pissed as hell at the thought of you'n me, growing old apart and sad. Riled me good, it did. So, I turned around, and here I am."

Time passed as they lay there, the angle of the sun shifting, the dusty beam of light coming through the window creeping across the bed.

"Yep."

"Yeh, what, Ennis?"

"I reckon we're makin' a go of it, you and me."

They said nothing more for a time, drawing in each others' warmth.

* * *

Ennis sat in the back of the flatbed, pitching hay out to the heifers and calves who waited patiently, lowing their pleasure at the scent of breakfast. The motion of tossing bales was hell on Ennis' side and shoulder, he reckoned Jack might've busted one of his ribs. He didn't mind the pain too much, though. It reminded him of what waited at home. The rest of the hands on the ranch, they'd sure given him hell when he'd turned up that morning. _"Damn, son, you got yer as whooped good!"_ Ennis just grunted at them and got on with it. He'd been mulling things over ever since this morning, and still wasn't sure what to do. 

_"'Member I told you once, L.D.'d more or less said he'd pay me to get lost?" Jack had asked that morning, sipping his coffee. He was freshly showered, bare chested, the scrapes from the fight the day before standing out in bright reds lines, the bruises vivid purples and yellows on his hard, fair skinned, tightly muscled frame. "Well, I'm thinkin' we can take that, work to make up whatever else we need, and get ourselves a nice spread somewhere, somewhere nobody knows us. I think that'd be OK."_

_"Hmmm," Ennis grunted, toweling himself off. He winced as he reached across himself to dry his left side. He glanced down, his own body sporting hurts to mirror Jack's. As he finished and threw his towel over his shoulder, he took the cup of coffee Jack handed him. "And what do we tell 'em, Jack? What'll we say to folks when they start askin' questions?"_

_"We tell 'em we're half-brothers. Same momma, differn't daddies. It'd explain why we got differn't last names, too." Jack looked at him, the same old wide eyed hopefulness, the dreamin' fool Jack would always be, bless him. There was something new there, though, a toughness, a sureness that he wasn't gonna give up after pestering Ennis for a spell, and go home. No, Jack was determined to see it through. Ennis didn't know how to tell him that he was, too. That Jack didn't have to worry, he'd stand shoulder to shoulder with him all the way. Ennis didn't know how to answer questions Jack hadn't asked, so he just nodded._

_"Might work", he said. He reached for the work shirt he'd laid out. "Until we fig're out what we're gonna do, Jack... I don't know. Welcome to stay here, o' course. Not sure how long we can keep that up, though." He pulled his shirt onto his shoulders, and began to do up the buttons, his hands only trembling a little. "Meantime, I reckon I better get goin'. Still gotta make money, no matter what we do."_

_"Sure enough, Cowboy," Jack said, smiling. "I'll head into town later, make a couple calls. Let L.D. know I'm leavin' his daughter." Jack paused, the smile leaving his face, his eyes going distant. "Poor Lureen... she ain't never done nothin' to deserve this. I sp'ose this is better than a lifetime of heartache, though. 'Least she's got a chance at finding a good life, now."_

_Ennis moved to Jack, rubbed his rough hand down Jack's cheek. "You OK with this, Jack? I mean, y'know how I feel..." he said, his voice trailing to a rough mumble, then picking up again as he pressed on, "but, damn. There's a part of me just ain't comfortable with this notion, and it's got nothin' to do with anyone findin' us out. Do you know what I mean?" He hoped Jack understood, understood that he wasn't asking Jack to go, or change, or... well, he wasn't sure what he was asking and what he wasn't, but whatever it was he needed Jack to understand._

_Jack let out a long sigh, reaching up to mirror Ennis' gesture, stroking his cheek. "I surely do, Ennis. But I reckon, we give it time, and somehow... I don't know. I reckon somehow it'll be OK after all."_

_"Yeah, I reckon," said Ennis, though he wasn't sure he reckoned that at all._

_Ennis turned to leave, grabbing his hat off the wall where it hung by a nail. As he dropped it onto his head, he felt Jack move up behind him, reaching across his chest and pulling him in, gripping tightly for just a moment. "See you tonight, Cowboy," he said, then dropped his arm._

_Ennis opened the door and headed for his truck, a smile plastered on his face._

The flatbed hit a rough dip, the jolt pulling Ennis back to the present as he threw his arms out to the side, shifting his balance and trying not to get pitched off. He muttered a curse to himself and began chucking out the hat at a faster pace.

Damn it all, but a man ought to know his own mind. Thinking back on the morning, he knew he'd felt fair sure about the course he'd decided to set with Jack, though even then he'd had his doubts and guilt. Now, hours later, though the memory of those feeling were clear as the blue Wyoming sky, he felt confused and ashamed at the thought of spending his life with another man, even as a part of him shouted joy inside at thinking of a life spent with that dreaming rodeo clown.

If Ennis had been a man of greater introspection, he'd have known what his mind was doing, trying to talk himself out of this, trying to run back to the fears and shames which were comfortable and certain. It would be easy to give in to everything his daddy, the preachers at church, the world told him was wrong with him.

But Ennis was strong, stronger inside than even he knew, the tiny crack opened in that wall around his heart the day before letting his strength sneak out. Jack gave Ennis strength now, thoughts of him coaxing out bit by bit the man Ennis didn't even know he was, the man as rugged inside as out. He didn't have his own words to fight this battle inside, but he took Jack's words and lent them to his own will.

_"It's alright... tt's alright, it's alright."_

Jack was right. There was nothing wrong with them! The Good Lord saw fit for them to feel the way they did, and Ennis felt so good, when he could push the shame aside and let Jack in his heart, pure and perfect, that there was no way it could be sinful. He'd keep telling himself that, keep it up 'til he had the shame beat. That's what he'd do. He'd do it for Jack. He'd do it for himself.

Ennis kept up the pace, pitching hay, feeling his muscles warm and then burn from the effort, the aches and bruises fading away as the sweat trickled down his neck, his back, his chest. He kept on chucking, drifting off into thoughts of Jack, having to fight the doubts in his mind less often as the hour wore on. Before he knew it, the flatbed pulled up before the barn, and Jim Cutler, the ranch hand who'd been driving, stepped out of the cab as Ennis jumped down from the bed. Jim stared at Ennis for a moment.

"What?" Ennis asked, panting a little from the flat-out pace he'd kept up.

"What'ya mean, 'what'?" asked Jim, looking Ennis up and down. "You're grinning like a damn fool, is what. What's gotten into you, boy?"

"Nothin'."

* * *

Jack was outside grooming Daisy, Ennis' chestnut mare, when Ennis pulled up. He stepped out of the truck, smiled, heading over to where Jack had Daisy tethered outside the barn. "You sure you remember how'da do that, Rodeo? Don't go fuckin' up my horse 'cause you wanna play at being a real cowboy after nine years of selling tractors." 

Jack laughed, smiling all the way to his eyes, as he chucked a handful of hay at Ennis. "Didn' see much point in sittin' around here, doin' nothin' after I got back from town. Fig'red I'd do somethin' useful."

Ennis closed the distance, pulled Jack into a hug, took ease in the fact that it wasn't hello or goodbye. At least, not hello or goodbye the way it used to mean. It was just a normal hello, a hello without desperation. After a long moment he pulled away. "You make yer calls?"

"Yeh... went into town, used the payphone outside that little diner on the corner across from the grocer's," he said, turning back to brushing down Daisy, savoring the old familiar chore. Ennis could see he missed being a cowboy. Y_ou're always gonna be a cowboy, Jack, don't matter if you never sit a horse again_, Ennis thought. He pushed aside the little thrill of fear at the mention of Monroe's, the fear that Alma, who knew what Jack looked like, might've seen him. He was surprised at how easy it was to push the fear aside.

Aloud, he said, "So?"

"So, that fat bastard L.D. Newsome said he'd pay me a hundred thousand dollars if I'd leave Lureen and give up all my rights to Bobby," Jack said, his voice tightening, his fist clenching unconsciously at his side. After the space of a breath, his hand relaxed, his voice eased. "I told him I'd take it. Lord knows, I love my son, but... Bobby don't think nothin' of me. I don't fig're his life'll be any sadder, I'm not in it." He finished brushing Daisy down, turned to Ennis as he untied her lead. "Made me think, though... Ennis, I cain't ask you to give up your girls for me. I know you love 'em, right and proper, and it ain't right of me to ask you to do that." He stopped, his eyes a little sad, but steady, as they studied Ennis' face.

Ennis had considered this, thought about it over and over again as he worked the day away at the ranch. "Well, Jack... I don't reckon I could give 'em up." He paused, thinking it over, wanting to be sure he meant what he said, making an effort to know his own mind before he spoke up. "It ain't like I see 'em but one weekend a month, anyway. I could come back to see 'em, maybe bring 'em up to see me. I don't know where we'll go Jack, but we cain't go more'n three days drive no matter where we end up, so it ain't like I cain't never see 'em on my weekend. I don't reckon yer takin' me away from 'em, so don't you worry none about that."

Jack smiled, and Ennis' thoughts wandered back to Brokeback for a moment as Jack near echoed himself, "Friend, that's more'n you've spoke in two days."

Ennis laughed, scuffing his feet and glancing down for a moment in embarrassment. "That's more'n I've spoke in a year."

"Tell you what... I could sure use a beer, what 'bout you?" Jack asked.

"Amen to that."

* * *

**March 17th, 1975**

Jack sat in the small, stuffy waiting room, his foot tapping nervously, glancing at the clock and wishing for a smoke. The lawyer's secretary had been pretty unfriendly when she told him the office was "no smoking", a phrase Jack figured meant she liked to keep folks on edge who were waiting on her boss' pleasure. Jack sighed, twiddled his thumbs, sat back and willed his foot to stop tapping. Not ten seconds had passed before his boot started drumming its stuttered rhythm on the floor again, as his thoughts wandered back over the last week.

He'd headed back for Childress on Tuesday, the day after his phone call to L.D. He hadn't thought about it much that evening, just enjoying his time with Ennis, as they laughed and talked and just took pleasure in the other one being there. They'd even joked about that scuffle on Sunday. Thinking about that made Jack smile. He and Ennis, they'd always been a rough pair, even back up on Brokeback. More than once they'd bruised or bled from playing, wrestling around like a couple of grizzly cubs, snorting and laughing as the fight turned to sex, often as not. Jack figured they'd always be a couple of rough and tumble men, and he didn't mind that at all. Soft as Ennis made his heart, Jack liked a good tussle and knew Ennis did too. It made what they did somehow OK, like it satisfied the voice in his head that wanted him to feel ashamed of what they did, convinced it that they weren't sissy men. They'd never before fought like that, of course, really fought in anger. Jack figured if it'd ended differently he'd probably not be smiling about it. As much as Jack liked wrestling with Ennis, and while he wasn't one to back down from a fight, _Though how can you say that boy, when you've spent years backing down from Ennis and L.D.?_, Jack didn't enjoy being angry, or picking fights, least of all with Ennis.

He'd headed home first, wanting to get what he figured would be the worst of it over with. He arrived just after supper time, walked in to find Lureen in the sitting room, watching T.V. Bobby had been off in his room.

_"You're back early," she said, her voice polite, but cold. When had it gotten like that? He couldn't remember noticing the change. Like he woke up one morning and found the feeling drained out of her._

_"Yep. Lureen, we gotta talk," he'd said, trying to sound kindly, spoiling it when too much apprehension and pent up frustration crept into his voice._

_"Oh? 'Bout what?" she asked, uninterested, not even looking away from the television, so firmly on automatic that she missed the tone of his voice._

I want'a tell you I'm sorry; I want'a make it up to you; I'm sorry I couldn't love you better, darlin' I- _"I want a divorce," he said bluntly, surprising himself. He wasn't sure if he hadn't said what he meant, or if he hadn't meant what he wanted to say. He was pretty sure it was the first one._

_She still didn't turn, though he could see the tension bloom in her, knotting up her shoulders. He heard the small noise of despair she made at the bottom of her throat, would've missed it like she meant him to if she'd had the T.V. turned up just a little louder. She got herself under control before she turned in her chair._

_"Well, cain't say I'm surprised. You haven't been in love with me for most of ten years, Jack Twist. Which is alright, I suppose, seein' as I haven't been in love with you for about that, too," she finished with a shrug._

_He knew it was a lie as she spoke it, knew that he'd hurt her, and deep, too. He hated himself, hated what he was, hated that he couldn't love her back. He sent an honest prayer to Heaven that she find her happiness again._

_"I... I want'a make this as easy on you and Bobby as I can. I'm not gonna sue for visitation' or nothin'. Hell, you see how Bobby is with me, he'd sooner I not be here anyways."_

_She studied him for a moment, gave a small sigh of detached resignation. It was pure theater. "I expect so. Well, don't worry about having to pay child support. Daddy'll take care of us, right enough. He's got plenty to go around, and the family business does all right by me." That last sounded vaguely like an accusation, as if to say,_ And why couldn't it do all right by you, Jack Twist? Why couldn't you do all right by me?

_Jack couldn't take it, couldn't take being in the same room, the same house. He wanted to run, wanted to hide, wanted to tear his feelings for Ennis out of his heart and take her in his arms, and comfort her like he thought he knew he should._ Oh, Ennis, _he thought miserably,_ I wish you were here. I ain't got the strength for this, Cowboy, I surely need your damn mulish will now. _Thinking of Ennis, of how stubborn he could be, made him smile on the inside, and seeing that rough-planed face, those deep brown eyes, that cornsilk mop of unruly hair in his mind's eye buoyed him up, shored up his resolve._ This is right, it's the right thing to do. I belong with you Ennis, and this is the best thing I can do for my family._ Still, he had no desire to drag things out more than he had to._

_"I'm staying at the motel on 3rd and Washburn, tonight, if you need me. I don't think it'd be a good idea to stay here. I don't need anything, 'cept some clothes I'd like to take. You can sell my stuff, chuck it, burn it if you like. I don't mind," he said. She nodded, looked away. _

_He walked back into the bedroom, grabbed his old knapsack and stuffed it full of the things he wanted to take. He started to leave the room, then reached into the closet, pulled a weathered old black hat off the top shelf. Lureen, she stayed in the sitting room, didn't say a word to him as he packed. He walked back down the hall, stopped outside his son's room. He knew he oughta say something, but he didn't think he'd survive when Bobby said,_ _"Good riddance, you pissant." Jack knew Bobby called him that behind his back, knew he'd learned to call him that from L.D._

_"I reckon we can call L.D.'s lawyer, he should be able to draw up the papers for us. I don't think we need to go to court if we're'n agreement on everything," he said._

_"I'll call him in the morning," she said quietly. "He should be able to have everything drawn up by Friday."_

_Jack stood there, somehow expecting more, but he should've known better, should've known that now, of all times, her heart wouldn't thaw enough to hate him openly. He wished it could, it would've made it easier._

_He moved for the door, had it open when she fired her parting shot._

_"Do you love her?"_

_"I- what?" he asked, startled into motionlessness._

_"This woman you're leaving me for. Do you love her? Is she the reason you haven't loved me?" Lureen asked, a tiny, tiny bit of fire and anger creeping in at the edge of her voice._

Yeh, I love him, his name's Ennis. He's a damn lightweight when it comes t' bourbon, but he's a damn sight better shot 'n me. We're a perfect match.

_"Yes, I love her. I'm sorry," he said. _Backing down again, Jack. Ain't you tough.

_"Good enough." She turned up the T.V._

_"'Night," he said, and left._

Jack was startled out of his reverie by the sound of the lawyer's office door opening, the creak made loud by the silence in the room. He stood up, doffed his hat. "'Afternoon, sir," he said politely.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Twist. Please, come in," he answered, gesturing inside his office.

Jack stepped in, took a seat. The office was filled with dark wood and darker leather, old books, the feeling of wealth and self-assurance. "So, what do I have to do?" Jack asked, calm and collected and determined to be friendly despite feeling sorely out of his element.

"Just sign on the dotted lines, Mr. Twist, anyplace opposite Mrs. Twist's name," the lawyer, one J.R. Robbins, said as he settled himself into his worn and throne-like wingback leather chair.

"OK," Jack said, picking up a pen. He paused. "No disrespect, Mr. Robbins, but how do I know if I just go signing away that you and L.D. ain't fuckin' me over?" Jack challenged, locking eyes with Robbins.

"Are you asking for anything from Mrs. Twist? Contesting the property, the house, custody of your son?"

"Nope."

"Would you understand the legal ramifications of any clause in those papers if you did read them?"

"Likely not."

"Then you don't know, Mr. Twist, but what the fuck does it matter? What could we take from you?" Robbins pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, tossed it onto the table in front of Jack. It was a check, for $100,000, made out to him by L.D. Newsome.

"True enough," Jack said, and started signing his unwanted life away.

* * *

**March 18th, 1975**

Jack hadn't healed the wounds his divorce had left inside him by the time he'd made it back to Ennis', but he'd made a fine start, and seeing Ennis again eased his heart and mind a fair leap.

"Missed you, Rodeo," Ennis said, as he and Jack embraced and traded hearty slaps on the back.

"You too, Cowboy," said Jack, unable to keep the smile off his face. It crossed his mind, fleetingly, how strange it was that L.D. could call him "Rodeo" and make him so angry, and Ennis could call him "Rodeo" and make him smile.

"So, how'd it go?" Ennis asked, pulling back and searching his eyes.

"Hard," Jack said, surprising himself. He'd meant to leave it be, to not burden Ennis with his feelings. He didn't really understand why he hadn't, but it felt good to have someone to tell it to, just the same. "It was damn hard, having to let her down like that. I hurt her bad, Ennis. Real bad. I don't know that I'll ever forgive myself for it."

Jack didn't even realize he was crying until Ennis reached up and wiped the tears off his cheek. "Now, don't you get worked up none," Ennis said, smiling for Jack, "It's gonna be alright. Like you said, 's the best thing you could do for her, for the boy. It'll be alright, Jack, don't you worry."

Jack smiled, let himself believe Ennis words, let the hurt ease up inside again. _This is what it's sp'osed to be like,_ he thought to himself. _This is how it oughta be._

"Got a surprise for you, Ennis," said Jack, still smiling.

"Yeah? What's that? You lose that harmonica?" Ennis asked with a grin.

"Better."

"Yeah? Must be good."

"I had a friend of mine make some calls to some folks he'd told me about up in Oklahoma. They're lookin' to expand their cattle ranch, lookin' for some partners to buy in. I'm thinkin' we could take that hundred thousand, work that ranch as partners for a few years... if it goes well, we could double our money, maybe triple it if we sell off our share at the right time. Get our own spread, wherever we like. A damn find one, too."

"Damn, Jack, that's..." Ennis paused. "Oklahoma, huh?"

"Yep."

"Ain't sure that's better'n you losing that harmonica."

Jack laughed. "Fuck you, Ennis."


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Notes:__Much appreciation to everyone for the kindly reviews! I'm going to be able to post at least one chapter per week, but I'll try to do more than that. One reviewer expressed disbelief that this was my first shot at creative writing, but it actually is, honestly. Also, I took more time proofreading this chapter (spell-check and grammar-check can only do so much), so I don't think this one'll be peppered with little errors the way the last couple chapters have been. At some point soon I'll go back and re-post those first two with all the little errors corrected. Also, I'm getting into some areas here I really know very little about, namely the cattle business and the settling of an estate after someone's death (no, neither one of our heroes). Please forgive any business mistakes. And please keep the feedback coming! Much love to everyone - Storlock_

**Time Enough to Get it Good: Chapter 3**

**August 23rd, 2004**

_The rain was pouring down now, in another few minutes the storm would be fully on him. He had his mount at a fast trot, too fast to really be safe in the rain-blurred darkness. But he knew this land, knew it as well as he knew the back of his own hand, as well as he'd known every inch of... as lightning blazed across the sky, and the crackling boom of thunder pounded above him, he picked up the pace._

_Up ahead, he could just make out the lights of the ranch house. "Almost there, girl," he told the mare. He felt the tension pick up in her, knew she was as anxious to be home as he._

**November 7th, 1979**

_What'n hell're you doing out here, dumbass? _Ennis thought to himself as he rode along the left flank of the herd, slowing or quickening ol' Scarlet's pace as needed, using himself and the lean roan gelding to slowly turn the great mass of bodies eastward. Another five miles, and they'd reach the trucks waiting to take the steer to the stockyards. _Ain't no call to cowboy for the roundup no more, 's what you pay the hands for. _The winters in Oklahoma weren't as cruel as what he'd grown up with back in Wyoming, but it got cold enough that the stiff wind made the air bitter, and kicked enough dust up off the scrub ground to make his eyes sting when he turned into it.

Ennis wasn't fooling himself, of course. He was out here taking a hand in the roundup because he couldn't have stood sitting home all week without Jack. Not that the rest of the hands minded one of the bosses getting involved, everyone knew there wasn't a more skilled cowboy to be found north of Texas. _The hell there ain't, Cowboy. You know I got you licked, hands down._ Ennis smiled on the inside, and even a touch on the outside, hearing Jack's voice in his head. Jack liked to claim he was the best cowboy on Thistledown Ranch, but Ennis was pretty sure Jack knew better. Ennis was a better shot, better roper, better rustler than Jack. Ennis knew Jack was a far better horseman than him, of course, but he wasn't about to feed the beast by telling him so. Thinking of their little friendly rivalry made his heart ache again. It didn't seem to matter that he'd be seeing Jack in just a week, and that there was a time he'd go months without seeing him, he still missed Jack already, longed to have him by his side.

Ennis was jerked back from letting his thoughts wander when he realized he could feel his face stretched in a sappy grin. He tightened up, mostly unconciously, tucking his chin closer to his chest and glancing around anxiously. It was foolish, of course, wasn't a one of the hands likely to see him, even if they didn't have their minds on the job of guiding the herd in, what with the gritty wind and cold, and the distance between them all. Ennis was only vaguely aware of his foolishness, though. Ever since he and Jack had come to Arnett, bought their way into Thistledown on Jack's divorce money, he'd slowly, steadily grown even more cautious than he'd been back in Riverton.

He was damn glad he'd let Jack talk him into coming, glad he'd had the last four years with his man. But Ennis was also even more afraid of being found out here; here where both he and Jack lived and worked, where they couldn't help but get to know the hands, and especially their business partners Raymond and Holly Gilmore. As well as Jack and Ennis got to know them, they got to know Jack and Ennis. Rodeo tried not to be careless, he wasn't stupid, Ennis knew. They were never more than decently friendly, as brothers ought to be, joked and jibed and got on with each other just like they did with the rest of the folk working Thistledown.

But Jack scared Ennis sometimes, with his sneaking to Ennis' room at the ranch house after everyone had turned in, instead of waiting like Ennis wanted him to do, meeting up at the motel up in Ft. Supply. Ennis thought that was a good enough plan, they could meet a few times a week, each play it off like he'd a woman waiting for him somewhere. He didn't like having to wait a day or two between being able to pull Jack close and show him how he felt, especially since even after four years neither of them seemed to have it in him to say it with words instead of deeds. Not that Ennis minded too much, and he didn't think Jack did, either. Actions are what count in this world. But he knew what the score was, and he didn't want any ugliness rearing up to spoil what they had going. Jack, though, was a man for taking chances.

Ennis willed himself to turn his mind back to the roundup, knowing that lingering on thoughts of Jack for too long would only bring more longing, or discovery, or both.

* * *

"What seems to be the problem, officer?" Jack asked, hoisting up his most charming smile as he turned to face the mirrored shades looming at his truck's window.

"You know how fast you were going, sir?" asked the mirrored shades, which were backed up by a gruff voice and a big, surly-looking cop. Pity he had to scowl like that, he might've been easy on the eyes, otherwise.

_Jack Twist, you turd-brained moron, why you gotta go 'n try to redline it all the way from Montana to Oklahoma? Like you wasn't gonna get pulled over, dumbass._ Jack kept up telling himself off inside as he pulled a sheepish grin. "Well, I reckon I was going pretty fast, officer. Kind of in a hurry to get home, fact is."

"Yeah, well, I'd call ninety-seven miles-per-hour pretty fast. Guess it was too fast to read all those signs that say 'fifty-five'?" said the officer as he started scrawling on his pad. Without glancing up he asked for Jack's license and registration.

"Um... yeah, guess so," mumbled Jack as he handed them over.

"So, what's the hurry?"

"Well, anxious to see my little lady, y'know. Been gone more'n a week." Jack felt the familiar little thrill of shame at the familiar little lie. He wasn't even aware of when, in the past four years, he'd gone from feeling fear at being found out and acceptance of the necessity of hiding, from that little reflex of shame about him and Ennis, to feeling angry with himself for covering it up, for feeling shame not that it was necessary but that he was being a coward. He only knew that he hated lying about who he was, even to a stranger, and sometimes he felt the only reason he did it was to keep his word to Ennis.

"Yeah? Well, I can understand that, but those speeds can be dangerous," said the cop as he ripped off the ticket and handed it to Jack. "You can contest this if you want, but since you've got Oklahoma plates it's probably less of a pain in the ass to just mail in the check."

"Yeah, I know it can be dangerous, officer. But, come on now, there ain't a soul on this highway for fifty miles either way, 'cept you 'n me," said Jack, friendly reasonableness from his hat to boots. "I ain't reckless or nothin'. I mean, this ticket'll be a damn hard hit, and I was hoping t' be able to show my baby a good time when I get back." He didn't mind so much this time, letting the cop think he'd meant his lady. He knew he meant Ennis, even if he'd never really thought of him as "baby" before and they certainly didn't call each other that, so it wasn't really a lie. The lie in that sentence was the fact that he'd be hard hit by paying the ticket. The fact was he and Ennis had done quite alright in the last four years, but Jack had an aversion to shelling out cash for "dangerous speeding" on an empty road without so much as a curve for fifty miles, so he didn't mind that fib.

"Well... I've already got my quota for the month. An' as this'd be my only report to file today, I could just go straight home instead of having to go back to the office if I don't have to file it," the cop said, looking off down the road as if seeing whatever it was about home to which he'd rather get right back. "Alright, but take it easy, you hear?" He took the ticket back from Jack and tore it in half, sticking it in his pocket.

Jack doffed his hat to the cop. "Much obliged, officer," he said. With a cheery wave, he started the truck up, and with a nod from the cop he was back out on the road.

Jack had to keep a close eye on himself, his foot kept wanting to press the pedal to the floor, to get back to Ennis as fast as he could. Even after four years being more-or-less together, he still couldn't believe how much he missed that man after only a little more than a week apart. When he thought about it, really thought about it, it pleased him greatly, and awed him more than a little.

Jack settled back into the seat, making peace with the fact that it'd be another day before he could see Ennis again, get ahold of him and drag him straight up to their little hidey-hole motel in Ft. Supply. They'd lucked out finding that place. Only about 50 miles from Arnett, it happened that they'd found a motel run by a a guy just like them. He kept their secret, and they kept his. He and Ennis were friends with him, of a sort. Since everyone at Thistledown thought they were brothers, and since they thought Jack and Ennis both had gals up there, they never thought anything about them driving up together. It wasn't a bad life, really, and they got to spend time together every day, even if they couldn't touch each other or look at each other the way Jack sorely wanted to do. Jack wasn't all about getting cuddley, most of the time, and he wasn't about pet names like "sweetie" and "honey"... though he liked it when Ennis occasionally called him "li'l' darlin'", and something in him really liked thinking of Ennis as "baby", now that he'd discovered it. About as close as he and Ennis got to pet names most of the time were "Cowboy" and "Rodeo", and while they still called each other that in public, sometimes, the _way_ they said it was different, lacking. It had to be, or at least, that's what Ennis firmly believed. Every day, though, Jack was chafing just a little more about hiding. That was probably why he couldn't stop himself from taking a chance, once in a while, sneaking over to Ennis' room.

Jack thought back on yesterday, a sort-of plan coming together in his mind. He was pretty sure he believed in Jesus, wasn't too sure about believing in fate sometimes, though with Ennis being in his life sometimes it was hard not to. But what he'd learned on his little side-trip, on his way back from making some breeding deals in Beaufort, now _that _made him think that Fate, or at least Brokeback Mountain, had a powerful interest in the life of two Wyoming cowboys...

_He pulled off in front of the same tiny trailer, on the same gravel lot. It looked pretty much as it'd been, even after sixteen years, just more rust and weather stains on the little aluminum shack. Even Aguirre's old heap was sitting out front, though a newer car sat next to it in the lot. Jack still wasn't sure this was a good idea, wasn't sure what'd made him slow down and take the exit ramp when he'd seen the sign for Signal. Part of it felt like old anger, and part of it felt like nostalgia. Part of him just wanted to see the look an Aguirre's face when he walked in._

_The crunch of gravel under his boots, the smells of flint and distant hay and cattle, brought back powerful memories of that day, such a long time ago. Seeing that buck, slumped against the trailer, tough and shy at the same time. Settling down for a good old staring contest. He'd wondered even then at the feelings that got stirred inside him, though of course it wasn't the first time that a guy had made him feel that way. He didn't really understand it then, but he did now and thinking again of that morning, being taken back there so strongly by this place and its memories, warmed him in a way that almost made him fondly think of the fat, rude bastard that he was so looking forward to telling off._

_He'd walked up the steps, pulled open the door without knocking, strode in ready to enjoy the shock on that old sonuvabitch's face and launch right into him, tell him how good he and Ennis had made it. Instead, he'd come up short at the site of the twenty-something blonde sitting at the desk._

_"Can I help you, sir?" she asked, in a distracted sort of way. Looking closer at her, Jack noticed she looked kind of puffy-eyed, like she been crying recently. "I'm sorry, there ain't any work to be had." She turned her attention back to the ledger on the desk, sitting open atop a confused pile of paperwork._

_"Um, actually, I'm not here for work, miss. I was, uh, well I was looking for Joe Aguirre. He's kind of an old friend, I s'pose you'd say. He around?" Jack asked, feeling a bit akward, thrown off his stride. How the hell was he supposed to tell Aguirre off if he had to ask after him like they were pals? That'd be downright weird, and no mistake._

_"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I don't really know how to tell you this, but Daddy died two weeks ago," she said, giving him a look of sorrow, which amazingly seemed to be more for him that for her, as though she wished she could comfort him. Here she was, clearly still in grief over her Daddy's passing, and she spared feeling for a total stranger. _How'd you ever manage to have such a decent kid, y'old bastard? _Jack thought to himself. _

_"Oh, damn... well, I'm real sorry to hear that, really sorry for your loss, Miss Aguirre," Jack said, shuffling his feet a bit and looking down, feeling embarrassed thinking about why he'd come in here and hoping she'd take his embarrassment for sadness._

_"Please, call me Kelly," she said, standing to come around the desk and shake his hand._

_"Jack Twist," he said. "I used to shepard for your Daddy up on Brokeback."_

_Kelly's eyes welled up with tears, and she turned around, walking back to the desk, taking a moment to get herself back under control before she turned around. "Well, I'm awfully sorry to bring you such news, Mr. Twist. Daddy'd have been glad you stopped by, though. Not many people have," she said, sighing. "He went real sudden, had a heart attack. Me 'n Momma, we always told him he needed to take better care of himself, but we didn't expect..." _

_"Call me Jack, Mr. Twist is my Daddy," he'd replied. "I'm the one who's sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. Did you 'n Joe spend a lot of time on Brokeback?" he asked, taking her reaction at the mention of the mountain for being overwhelmed with memories._

_"Oh, no, actually I've never been up there," she said. She gestured at the mess of financial documents before here, sighing. "It's just that Daddy, I guess he didn't take too good care of his books. I'm trying to go through everything and make sense of it, but now that lawyers and accountants are getting involved, seeing as Daddy didn't leave a will.. well, they're finding all kinds of stuff. The long and short of it is, it looks like Daddy made some mistakes, and now we're gonna have to pay for 'em. Momma, she'd planned on selling the ranch and the land we have around Brokeback and retiring, but first the estate has to pay off back taxes. I don't think the sale will cover it, though. I don't know what we're gonna do, I can't afford to support my own family, plus Momma, and she's cain't work a job pays enough to buy a new house." Kelly's eyes began to tear up again, and her fear and frustration crept into her voice as she spoke._

_"Well, I... um, damn. I'm sorry, Miss. I hope it all works out OK." Jack felt like a terribly rude intruder, a witness to something personal and humanizing in the house of someone he considered to be an enemy, and it made him uncomfortable. All he wanted was to hightail it out of there, the quicker the better. "I'm sorry t've bothered ya," he said, backing towards the door._

_"It's alright, Jack. take care. Thanks again for stopping by."_

_"Take care now, Miss Kelly."_

Jack had thought about that the whole rest of the trip, feeling like a heel over and over again. Then, slowly, things started rearranging themselves in his head, and he'd grown excited. He couldn't wait to reach Ennis, tell him his idea.

Jack brought his attention back to the road, feeling a big grin on his face again, which fled when he glanced down at the speedometer. Ninety-five.

"Shit," he muttered, and eased off the gas again.

* * *

"How'd it go?" asked Ray, sitting on the front porch of the big ranch house, as Ennis walked up and slapped the dirt from his gloves. Raymond Gilmore was like the house he'd built, big and sturdy but not much to look at, first glance. He was a good enough man, didn't seem to trouble himself with complicated considerations. Ray appeared to Ennis to be, on the inside as well as the out, the man Ennis could only manage to be on the outside, calm and unruffled by the world and its ills.

"Right enough. Same 's any roundup, I reckon," replied Ennis, easing himself into one of the wicker chairs. "I think we'll get a good price, looks like some of the best we've taken to market." Ennis took a slow moment to enjoy the feeling of his legs and back, stiff and tense from the long hours in the saddle, begin to relax. A hot bath was in order tonight, for sure.

"Jack should be getting back tonight, yeah? You boys gonna head up to Ft. Supply, look in on your gals tonight?" Ray asked, grinning conspiritorially at Ennis. Ray really was just about as uncomplicated as he seemed to Ennis, and in no way suspected the truth. His grin was the friendly grin of a man who, content and happily loving his wife, remembered their courting with very fond memories.

Ennis, of course, felt a stab of panic he hoped didn't show on his face. "Um, yeah, I reckon we prob'ly will," he said, trying not to draw too much in on himself. He'd learned, in the years since he and Jack had come here and his perspective on himself had begun to change some (thanks largely to Jack's influence, though he was only vaugely aware of this), that his habit of closing himself off when something frightened or upset him was as dead a giveaway of his feelings, to some folks, as if he'd worn his heart on his sleeve. To everyone else, he just seemed callous and unfriendly, so he figured that walling himself off didn't get him much and he was trying to change his ways. Still, old habits die hard, and he wasn't anywhere near ready to believe that it was safe to let the world know how he felt about a lot of things.

Raymond laughed, taking Ennis' withdrawl as embarrasment on the subject of coupling. "Well, you boys have fun, y'hear? You damn sure earned it. Though why you go and take a hand in the roundup I'll never know. Not that I'm complaining, it always goes better when you're out there. As for your brother, well, he's gotten us some of the best deals on studs, equipment, and feed that I ever seen. Boy's got a head for business, and horses, and that's a fact... even if he can't find where put his own ass, half the time."

This made Ennis laugh. During those early years, when he and Jack had spent months at a time apart, he'd never had the opportunity to see Jack's absentmindedness about little things in action. Since then, he'd many times seen Jack misplace something, and in record times, too. He'd even, a couple times, seen Jack put his keys down, go collect his hat and coat from where he'd just remembered he'd left them, and then start hunting around for his keys.

"Yeah, Jack's got a memory like chickwire sometimes, always has," Ennis said. "As for the roundup, well, I reckon it gives me something to do." Ennis turned his head at the sound of the screen door creaking open.

"You boys want some iced tea?" asked Holly. She was a about as physically opposite her Ray as she could get, small, slight, delicately pretty, blonde where he was dark-haired. Their difference only went skin deep, though. Underneath they were pretty much the same; tough, kind, and friendly. About the only difference was Holly seemed to have a more sophisticated grasp of the world than her husband, but she seemed to love him all the more for his simpler view of things.

"Much obliged, Holly," said Ennis, reaching for one of the tall glasses she carried on tray, and taking a long pull from it. He cut loose with a satisfied "ahhhh", the cool, sweet tea washing the dust from his throat.

"Thanks, hon," said Raymond, with an adoring smile for his wife, and took a glass himself. Ennis loved watching them together, admiring them, wondering if that's how he and Jack would look to others if others ever say them together, openly. He also felt a little jealous, that he couldn't show his friends, strangers, or the world how he felt about Jack. How proud he was of him, how much he admired him, how much he loved him.

Ennis didn't shy from that thought the way he used to do. While he still felt a little guilt and shame, which he thought he might feel to the end of his days, it didin't really bother him thinking about Jack , openly ackowledging loving Jack (at least in his own mind). He still wasn't a man to say it much, but then, Jack didn't seem to be either. No, what bothered him these days wasn't the thought that he was in love with another guy, it was the thought that, because being in love with a guy _didn't _bother him anymore, he was more likely to slip up and betray them.

The distant sound of a rumbling V-8 and tires on gravel pulled him away from the routine circle of thought that his mind frequently looped in, and he looked up to see Jack's pickup rumbling up the long drive to the ranch, at this distance only just visible within the grey cloud of dust it kicked up.

"Looks like our Jack's back," said Holly, her voice revealing the combination of warm fondness and wry irritation that Jack's mischevious nature instilled in just about everyone who knew him. "You fellas stayin' for supper?"

"Likely not, Holly, no rudeness meant. I fig're me an' Jack'll be wanting to get to up to our gals quick as we can."

"Oh, that's alright, Ennis, I understand. You boys go have a good time." And she did understand, though Ennis didn't know it.

* * *

Ennis ambled over to the big side barn that served as a garage for the ranch, about fifty yards from the ranch house, reaching it about the time that Jack was pulling in. He gave a friendly wave to Jack, called, "Hey, Rodeo!" in a friendly voice, and glanced around to make sure no one was nearby.

As he crossed through the big doors, moving into the shade of the interior, Jack opened the door and jumped down from the truck. "Hey, Cowboy, how-" be began, but then Ennis gripped two handfuls of his shirt front and propelled him back into the shadows, slamming Jack's back against the big tool cabinet.

"Hey, Rodeo," he said again, this time his rough voice full to the brim with everything that'd been missing the first time he'd said it, and his mouth dove to find Jack's, their passion fierce, quick and intense. After a moment, Jack surfaced for air, and his hands reached up to grab Ennis' shirt in kind, pushing Ennis away slightly. He stepped out, turned and slammed Ennis back against the cabinet.

"Hey, Cowboy," he growled, grinning, and pulled Ennis back into a tongue-wrestling hello. His hands released their grip on Ennis' shirt, moving up to cup his cheek, stroke the back of his head, even as he felt Ennis' hands caressing his own face, stroking the back of his own neck.

After a few moments, they parted, roughly, reluctantly, glancing around to make sure no one had seen. After a moment, they had themselves under control, though they were still a little bit more open, tiny giveaways in their voices that wouldn't have been there if anyone else had been around.

"How's it goin'?" asked Jack, a silly grin on his face as he finished what he'd started saying a minute ago. "I miss anything excitin'?"

"Nothin' too excitin'. Roundup's done, ya managed to miss it again, la lazy fuck," Ennis said, returning Jack's grin. Then, his smile slipped a tiny bit. "Bart, his horse got spooked and threw him, not sure what it was. Broke his leg, he's gonna be laid up for a while."

"Shit, that's a bit a hard luck," said Jack. He liked Bart, thought Bart was a nice guy. Bart was one of those guys who, and Jack wasn't sure why he felt this way about some folk and not about others who seemed just as friendly, but Bart was one of those guys who he felt would understand about him and Ennis, and be alright with it. Not that he thought Bart was like them, he'd met Bart's girl and they were surely in love, but Bart'd be OK with it. So, Bart was one of the men Jack was somewhat closer friends with at Thistledown.

"Yeah, he'll be alright though. Doc says the bone's set just fine," Ennis said, trying to help wipe the worried frown off his man's face. He did't like to see Jack looking unhappy.

"I reckon so," replied Jack, and then the smile returned to his face. He watched Ennis' reaction, knew he must be wearing that special smile that Ennis called his "damn fool grin", the one that he knew gave away to Ennis the fact that some idea Ennis would think was trouble-waiting-to-happen was running around in his head.

"Now, don't get that look on yer face 'til you've heard what I'm thinkin', Cowboy," admonished Jack with a punch to Ennis' shoulder. "We headin' up to Ft. Supply tonight?"

"Yeah, already told Holly we'll be headin' out a'fore supper," said Ennis, grabbing Jack's suitcase out of the back of the pickup as Jack grabbed his duffel.

"Good. I c'n tell ya all 'bout it on the way up there."

"Jack?"

"Yup?"

"Missed you."

"Me too, buddy. Me too"


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Notes:__Apologies in advance for any flagrant inaccuracies in the following chapter regarding real estate, finance, or law which result from me torquing what little I know on these subjects into a framework to fit my plot needs. I've done my best to not make it seem silly or contrived, but since I'm not a laywer, a real estate agent or an economy major I could very well be talking entirely blathering nonsense. Oh, and these chapters comprising my first fan-fiction, I wasn't sure (still aren't) about the whole "disclaimer" bit, but as I see it at the beginning of everyone else's story I feel I should now start putting it in and make it official... or, well, unofficial... you know what I mean. All characters not of my own creation are the sole property of Annie Proulx, and possibly Focus Features, not really clear on that, but in any case I hope she doesn't mind me moving them around in her world(or they in theirs, whichever is appropriate), which I do with the utmost respect. As I'm not profiting by these pages, I feel satisfied that "it's all good", as it were._

_Oh, and also... WARNING: very, very highly graphic and adjective-laden description of man-on-man sex follows. If you don't like reading about two men getting squelchy (though if you didn't, why would you be reading this?) I suggest you stop reading after they head to their room, and skip ahead to the eighth-from-the-end paragraph._

**Time Enough to Get it Good: Chapter 4**

**August 23rd, 2004**

_He led the mare into the barn, soaked to the bone and shaking the rain from his coat and hat. Turning on a light, and a small heater, he set about wiping her down. He was looking forward to a hot shower and a warm fire, and either hot chocolate or whiskey, he hadn't decided yet. That would just depend on how lonely the house felt when he got there._

**November 8th, 1979**

The landscape rolled by in long, low undulations, the broad plains of Oklahoma showing slight variations in level made apparent by their speed. Jack knew Ennis was as anxious as he was to reach Fort Supply, and their little home-away-from-home motel, but he wished Ennis would cut back the speed a bit, so he'd have time to explain things to him. At this rate they'd cover the fifty miles in under thirty minutes, and he figured he'd need more than that to convince Ennis.

They'd stuck around Thistledown long enough to be polite, Jack enjoying a glass of Holly's iced tea and catching up with her, Ray, and Ennis, stopping by Bart's trailer and giving his well-wishes. But it was less than two hours before they'd hopped back in the truck and started out.

"You tryin'a get me pulled over again, Cowboy? I've had my fill a cops this week," Jack said, trying not to sound exasperated.

"'Again'?" asked Ennis, giving him the eye. "This got somethin' to do with that damn fool grin you was wearin' when you pulled up?"

Jack laughed in spite of himself. "No, and afore you go off half-cocked, I got a little story to tell you. And no, it's got nothin' to do with the law. Well, not cops, anyway."

Ennis was a bit confused and plenty annoyed by what Jack was leaving out, but since he knew Jack was doing it on purpose he wasn't about to rise to the bait. "OK, let's hear it, Rodeo."

* * *

"...so, I thought about her, an' you an' me an' ol' Brokeback, all the way back here. That's how I got myself pulled over, by the way. Was speedin' like the Devil was on my tail and didn't even notice. All I could think about was gettin' back here and telling you," Jack finished, searching Ennis' face for a reaction.

"Jack, you know I ain't got no head for business. Why don't you tell me how this works out so good for us?" Ennis asked, and his tone made it clear to Jack that he thought it was indeed a damn fool idea and he thought he understood it perfectly. Still, the fact that he was willing to talk about it was a pretty good sign, Jack thought.

Still, he wasn't about to let Ennis get away with that tone of voice. He heaved a big, put upon sort of sigh, and managed to do it without giving himself away with a grin. "Alright, lemme break this down for you, real simple like, as I know you ain't coordinated enough to think an' drive at the same time," he said, and managed to keep most of the smile out of his voice, too. "That ol' fuck Aguirre left behind a whole lotta land at the base of Brokeback, along with those Park Service regulated lands under lease higher up where he pastured the sheep, right? Plus, all them sheep, too. Now, 'parently he was screwin' Uncle Sam and now they wanna take the land and sell it off at auction to pay for as much of the debt as they can. Trouble's gonna be, as I see it, that ain't nobody in Signal's gonna know about this auction unless the government puts the word out, 'cause ain't nobody in Signal give a damn when Joe Aguirre kicked the bucket. He musta been a bastard to ever'one, 'cause his girl told me there weren't anyone come to the funeral, or check up on him."

"Yeah, I know he was a mean old cuss, don't need you or his filly to tell me that, Jack."

"Well, put it together, Ennis. She likes me, thinks I'm an ol' pal of her Daddy's. And she seems like a real good sort a person, so I'd like to do right by her. If she could keep the government from doin' too much hollerin' in advance of this auction, by confirmin' she's got buyers already, we ain't gotta run the risk of someone like some developer biddin' too high against us. An' we know, an' the government fellas gotta know by now too, that they ain't gonna get anythin' outta trying to auction the sheep off, 'cause Kelly and her Momma wanted to sell the flock in the first place, so they'd have already tried to sell the sheep off and there weren't no takers."

"Our share at Thistledown's worth a pretty penny, Ennis. If we was to buy up that land, and the sheep, the government gets its money, and since we c'n keep there from bein' too many other buyers, we should get a real good price. We get a decent stock ready made, and we can shift it over time to cattle if we like, or horses, or just keep tending sheep. An', if we do a good turn by Kelly and her Momma, let 'em keep their house and build our own, not charge 'em too much in rent or nothin'... well, Kelly at least seems like the type to do right in turn, and she had t've learned it from someone, so I fig're her Momma must be a decent sort. I don' think they'd give us away if they ever found out we ain't brothers, so I'd like to do right by her and her Momma, and it never hurts to have folks owe you a favor. And keepin' as much money in the local economy, makin' sure we do business with local folks as much as we can, we'll prob'ly be able to keep trouble from ever comin'. Folks'll turn a blind eye to a lot as long as the money's comin' in."

"Don't know, Jack. Kinda sounds like hogwash, to me..." Ennis paused, a long, full pause. "Why Brokeback? We could take our money and go wh'rever we want. Ain't gotta hang our shingle back in Wyoming. We both know it ain't the best place for fellas like us."

Jack didn't answer for a moment, holding himself still while the confusion and hurt caused by Ennis' question subsided _He don't think about some things the way you do, Jack. Take it easy._ Still, when he spoke, there was a definite edge to his voice. "'Why Brokeback?'... You even gotta _ask_ that?"

"I ain't sure, Jack. I mean, I wanna get our own place an' all, but you know what happened to old Earl and-" he started to say it, but Jack cut him off. _Differ'nt thinkin' be damned, yer gonna understand why this is important, Ennis Del Mar, if you ain't never understood before._

"I met _you_ on Brokeback Mountain, you bone-headed jackass!" Jack said, loudly, his voice seeming almost a shout in the confined cab of the pickup. "_Everythin'_ that's been good in my life started up there with me an' you an' those goddamn sheep that summer. I know Wyoming ain't likely to be the most welcomin' place, an' I know we could sell our share at Thistledown an' buy a patch a land jus' about anywhere we took a fancy to. But it _feels_ right, Ennis. It's like, I don' know, _fate_ or somethin'! Cain't you feel it?" Jack asked, wishing he could really express in words what had made him pull off in Signal, what had been chasing around the back of his mind ever since he'd spoken with Kelly Aguirre.

"I don't give a damn about Earl and Rich," Jack pressed on, "and what happened to 'em when you was a kid. We ain't them, Ennis, and it' ain't 1953 no more. Hell, when I travel around, business takes me back down to Texas, or to Kansas City or St. Louis, I see stuff. Read it in papers, hear it on the radio, or see it on the news, or just wanderin' into the right neighborhood lookin' for a drink on them overnight trips... Ennis, guys like us are comin' out in the open. Y'know, that's what they actually call it, when they let folks know about 'em? _Coming out_, they call it. Them guys's buildin' whole communities for 'emselves in big cities. Times're changin' Ennis, and while there're like to be plenty of folks who don't hold with our kinda life, I'm thinkin' it ain't too likely that we'll have villagers with torches an' pitchforks coming ta burn down our castle." Jack paused again, studying Ennis. "I been jawin' an awful lot, Cowboy." Jack's expression turned softer, apology mixed with embarrasment. "An' I'm sorry for teein' off on ya like that. How d'you feel about it?"

"Jack, I...hell, Rodeo, I know what Brokeback means. I ain't _stupid_, it means somethin' to me, too. I met _you_ up there, don' forget. It's, well, it's important, no mistake." Ennis looked troubled, wore the look Jack knew meant he was unsure if he was saying what he meant to, getting the words out right. Jack was surprised then, when what he said next was pretty much crystal clear. "But Jack, I ain't worried 'bout no villagers with pitchforks. I'm worried 'bout a few mean bastards with tire-irons blindsidin'... us."

Jack knew Ennis had been about to say "blindsiding you", but was trying to keep from hurting his feelings. Jack knew Ennis couldn't help thinking more about his man's safety than his own. Hell, Jack also thought he could take on the world if needs be, and still he worried about Ennis' safety, even though he knew Ennis was plenty tough. Jack actually thought it was pretty sweet of Ennis, doubly so since Ennis tried to be considerate of his feelings.

"Ennis, that fight was four years ago, now, and I was angry 'bout a lot of other stuff, too. It's alright that you wanna take care'a me, keep me safe. I wanna do the same for you, Cowboy," he said, stroking a thumb down Ennis' cheek. "And that's the point, Ennis. I know we'd be safer from those mean bastards with tire-irons in a place like New York City or San Francisco, but I don't wanna live in those places, Ennis, an' neither do you. It'd stifle us. We need wide open spaces, Cowboy. So, we gotta take a little risk, wherever we go. But I trust you, Ennis. I trust you to watch my back an' keep me safe, Ennis, an' you c'n trust me to do the same for you. Me an' you, standin' back-to-back... let those bastards with tire-irons jus' try."

Ennis laughed. "You sure are brave, Rodeo. Or damn stupid. Prob'ly a little a both." Ennis reached up, grabbed Jack's hand, held it tightly. "Truth is, I wish I was half 's brave as you, sometimes."

Jack almost laughed, he was so stunned. _Me? Braver'n Ennis? Yeah, that's likely... _"You kiddin'? I don' think you ever backed down from anybody in yer whole life. Only reason I c'n be brave is 'cause I know I got you watchin' my back. You give me strength, Cowboy, don' you forget it."

"Jack... lemme think on this one, OK? It's pretty big, y'know."

"I know. I ain't expectin' miracles. You give it some thought for a coupl'a days."

* * *

"Jack, Ennis! Haven't seen you two in more'n a week!" Bob Wallace, the owner of the Sleep-Rite Motor Hotel, came around the counter in the small, homey lobby and gave them each a firm handshake, pulling them into a quick hug. Though it was obvious to both men that his hug lingered over Ennis just a shade longer.

"Hey, Bob. How's it goin'?" asked Ennis, only slightly uncomfortable with Bob's attention. Jack pushed down a laugh, but was unable to keep a grin from cracking his face. When they'd first started coming here, Jack had picked up on Bob's infatuation with Ennis as soon as it'd developed, but Ennis hadn't and Jack knew if Ennis did know it'd make him uncomfortable, so he let it be. He knew that nothing would come if it, he trusted Ennis, and he figured it best to leave Ennis in peace as long as possible. It'd taken Ennis almost two years to figure out why Bob was slightly more friendly to him than Jack, though Bob treated them both perfectly decently. Once Ennis has cottoned on, his manner turned just akward enough at Bob's attention for Jack to be amused without Bob noticing that they'd caught on.

"Oh, fine, fine. Your room's all ready, you know I always rent that one out last. Try to keep it open for you two cowboys, never know when you're gonna turn up!" he laughed, and went back around the counter, pulling open the registry book.

"Anything new and excitin' going on in the Fort, Bob?" asked Jack as he signed them in, and handed thirty dollar across the counter to Bob, who took the cash and dropped it into the till.

"Not too much, not too much... gonna be a wedding next month that'll be a big to-do. 'Couple of the local big-wigs' kids're getting hitched. They're paying me to organize the reception," Bob said, pride obvious in his voice.

"Hey, tha's great, Bob," Jack replied with a smile. Bob was pretty well known in Fort Supply for being able to put together a really fancy party. He didn't cook much, didn't do the flowers, or anything else that went into all the different elements, but somehow he seemed the best person in town at getting it all put together and making the choices of who'd cater, what band would play, what colors to use for the tablecloths, etc. It amazed Jack and Ennis that he could come so perilously close to being "out", as they called it, especially with his slightly effiminate mannerisms, but somehow instead he'd become fairly well-liked. Oh, he still had to deal with the occasional high-school kid shouting "fag" and "queer" at him, but he'd never been attacked or had his property vandalized or anything.

Jack figured it was because he wasn't actually out- he never talked about guys openly, never actually dated one, not even in secret- that the town was OK with it. As long as he made himself useful in a way that no one else could, he was alright by them, as long as he wasn't _officially_ a fag. Jack's happy mood dampened slightly, as this train of thought took him to that place inside that was increasingly fed up with how the world treated guys like him and Ennis. Guys like Bob, too, though in Jack's mind Bob was still in a different class than himself and Ennis, somehow more queer than they. _Still, however queer a fella is, ain't no call to treat 'im like shit jus' 'cause a who they love,_ he thought.

"Yeah, it should be real fun. And I'll make some good money, too... not only do they have no idea how much things like foie gras and orchids actually cost, but they've got no idea how much or how little of anything is needed to be 'in style'. What they do have is plenty of money," he said with a grin.

Jack laughed loudly at that, his briefly dark mood lifted. _Hell yeah, Bob. You stick it to those hateful bastards but good._ "'S what they git for not takin' an interest in cult'ral niceties," he said. "What the hell is 'foie gras'?"

"It's a pate." Jack continued to stare a question at him. "A pate is a kind of spread, you put on little bits of bread. Foie gras is goose liver." As Jack pulled a grossed-out face, for that _did _sound downright disgusting, Bob laughed and handed them their key. "Alright, you boys have a good time. There's nobody else in the motel at the moment, and if someone checks in I'll put 'em plenty far away from you. You have as much fun as you like," he said with a grin.

"Um... yeah, much obliged, Bob," mumbled Ennis, tipping his hat. Any overt comment about his and Jack's sexuality, even a veiled one, made him uncomfortable. Jack thought it was sweet, most of the time.

"Yeah, thank'ya kindly, Bob," added Jack, as he and Ennis grabbed their bags and headed off to their room.

* * *

Ennis grabbed Jack's bag from him, tossed them both into the corner as Jack closed the door behind them. As he turned around, Ennis grabbed him, laying a deep, passionate kiss on him, pressing into him so hard they slammed up against the door.

Jack returned the kiss to him, with interest. _What'd I ever do without this man?_ Ennis thought briefly, then the thought was swept away as more blood surged to his already raging hard cock when Jack grabbed him around the waist and hoisted him up in his arms, still kissing him, and took the five strides necessary to tumble onto the bed.

They tussled for a few minutes, wrestling as they ripped shirts and pants from one another, doing their damnedest to keep their mouths pressed together the entire time. Ennis ended up on top, pinning Jack down, enjoying the feeling of Jack's mucles flexing underneath him as he tried to buck out, enjoying the feeling of power he got from holding the hot bronco down.

"Looks like yer pinned, Rodeo. Ain't as easy when yer the bull, is it?" he growled, grinding his stiff prick against Jack's hot manhood. He moved his head closer, bringing his mouth to suck on that sweet spot on Jack's jawline, just south of his ear, that made Jack writhe underneath him.

"Oh, Ennis... fuck, Cowboy!" Jack moaned, bringing his legs up and wrapping them around Ennis' waist. He grinned up at Ennis, locked his ankles and squeezed thighs made powerful from years of horseriding and rodeoing, visibly taking pleasure in the grunt he forced out of Ennis as the lean cowboy's breath was stolen. Ennis felt another thrill of pleasure at Jack's strength, flexed his own muscles against the pressure. Jack could've made him say "uncle", but Ennis bluffed and rode it out for a few moments, smiled down even though he was breathless and redfaced, and shook his head. Jack grinned back, relaxed his grip. "You got me, what'ya gonna do with me?"

"Whatever I please, Jack fuckin' Twist," Ennis said, loudly, mock-threat in his voice as he sat back on his haunches, grabbing Jack's hips and pulling him up and closer, propping his arms at his sides to support Jack's lower body as he dove on Jack's cock. Jack, his legs draped over Ennis' shoulders, let out a roaring "Hot damn!" and knotted his fingers in Ennis' hair, bucking up into Ennis mouth. Ennis went at it a for a minute or two, then pulled back, feeling Jack's fingers relax and slip from his head, saw Jack's eyes, glazed with pleasure, come up to meet his own. "Ya like that, do ya Rodeo? How's this?" So asking, he dove back in and sucked Jack's balls into his mouth, one after the other, pulling one in and sucking and slurping on it, rolling it around in his mouth before letting it go and tackling the other one.

Ennis was in heaven, loving how at the same time he was getting off on sending his man into ecstasy, he was also getting off on the control he had, the power he could have over Jack in this most intimate way. He didn't think about it in those terms, exactly, but he knew there were two flavors of pleasure mixed into the emotions inside his head and heart when they fucked, and he knew well enough where they came from.

Jack, as always, went wild at what Ennis was doing, hanging on as best he could, but he started bucking and thrashing, his fists grabbing handfuls of the sheet on the bed as he gasped and cried out in hot joy. "Alright, I give, I give!" he shouted, grabbing Ennis' head again. Ennis let Jack pull him in close, kiss him again, softer this time, still as deep and passionate, felt as much as heard Jack's throaty whisper in his ear, "Fuck me, already, Cowboy. I been waitin' all day."

Ennis growled with pleasure, pulled back, stopping long enough to suck on one of Jack's big nipples and make him writhe and shout again, and leaned back to reach into the side pocket of his bag, pulling out the little jar of Vaseline. He slathered up his cock, and started jacking it slowly as he spread some onto Jack's warm hole, easing in a finger, kneading it, working it to warm it up and get it ready. After a couple of minutes he grabbed Jack by the hips again, Jack spreading his legs and draping them over Ennis' shoulders, lifting himself up, and Ennis took aim and pressed forward, his world dissolving into a rush of pure ecstacy centered at the head of his cock as it popped into the tight, warm joy that was his Jack. In concert with his overpowering rush, he heard Jack moaning and crying," Aww, Cowboy! Yeah!"

Ennis started slow, building a rhythm, pressing his hips in as he supported Jack's lower body, Jack spread out before him on the bed, sweaty, manly, angelic. Ennis couldn't remember when their sex had started to change; they still went at it as rough as ever most times, hard and heavy, but more and more often he wanted to see Jack's face when they did it, hungered for the sight of Jack's eyes while they fucked, instead of that little thread of shame making him want to take Jack from behind. More and more often, their sex was a little less rough and fast, a little more slow, deep, tender. And more and more often, Ennis wanted to feel Jack inside of him as much as he wanted to feel himself inside Jack. Those times were still a bit rare, and likely always would be. But still, they came more often as time went on. This wasn't one of those times, though.

Their rhythm quickened, breath coming in ragged gasps, calling each others' name back and forth with every powerful thrust... "Oh, Jack", "Oh, Ennis", "Yeah, oh, fuck! Jack"...their hard bodies drenched in sweat, every bulge and flex of muscle standing out in gleaming detail from it as they bucked. Ennis was pushing in harder and harder, wrapping his arms around Jack, trying to push all of himsef inside, Jack wrapping his legs around Ennis, then his arms as well, drawing him in, tightly, trying to pull all of Ennis inside himself.

"Oh, FUCK!", they bellowed, together, coming in unison in a pounding swell of fire and joy and raw lust that obliterated the universe around Ennis, leaving only himself and Jack, twitching, heaving breaths, slowly coming back down from the dizzying heights of heaven. Slowly, ever so slowly, Ennis felt himself soften up a bit, heard the soft sucking sound as he plopped out of Jack, felt Jack sigh in relief and loss at it. Ennis just lay their, enjoying the heat of their bodies pressed together, the sweet stink of Jack's sweat mingled with his, feeling his exposed back cooling and drying while the wet heat of their passion lay safe between them.

After a time, he felt Jack shift underneath him. "Goddamn, Cowboy. That... was... fuckin' fantastic!" Ennis felt Jack's arms encicle him again, lightly stroke the back of his head. Strong, rugged arms. Safe arms. _How can I feel so safe with him, like _he's_ gonna take care of _me_, an' still need so bad to keep him outta harm's way, like _I_ gotta keep _him_ safe?_ Ennis wondered, but he took pleasure anyway in both feelings. More and more often, he could accept the contradictions inside that his life with Jack brought him, and put them aside in favor of the happiness which that life brought. It was easy, putting aside all the little lingering doubts and fears, in moments like this. He knew they'd be back later, when they went and got supper, or when they drove back to Thistledown, or sometime in between. Suddenly, a revelation of sorts took place within Ennis._ If I c'n only feel this right, this whole, this free in moments like this, then I want more moments like this ta happen. I need life t'be filled with times like this, an' Jack surely deserves 'em... and to do that..._

"What is it, Ennis?" Jack asked, concern in his voice. Ennis pulled back a little, meeting Jack's eyes, and realized that he'd gone all tense, wearing the frown that meant his mind had gone somewhere that bothered him. Jack looked up, ready to care for him, patient enough to leave him be if he didn't want to talk about it. Ready to fight for him. Jack had fought for them, a lot harder than Ennis had done. Well, it was his turn to fight, now. His turn to fight the man who'd stood in their way all this time: himself. He'd fight himself, and the world if it came to it. He made himself relax, as much as he could.

"I love you, Jack Twist," he said, his declaration of love to Jack a declarartion of war to the fear and doubt within himself. "You'n me, we're taking that land up on Brokeback."

Jack's eyes lit up, that dopey grin that Ennis held so dear spreading across his face. "An' I love you, Ennis Del Mar," Jack said, and kissed him. "Damn, that's twice in four years we said that. Guess we must be serious." After a moment, his smile dimmed a little, though it didn't come near to going out. "Are you _sure_, Cowboy? I mean, _really_ sure? I never in a million years fig'red you'd decide this quick. I thought I had a whole mess a convincin' ahead a me..."

Ennis smiled, and sighed, scooted down a bit to lay his head on Jack's chest, feeling the still-drying sweat and heartbeat against his cheek. "No, Rodeo, I ain't sure. I ain't sure about a lot a things, an' buyin' land in Wyoming ain't the least among what I ain't sure about. But, what I am sure about is that I need you in my life more'n I have you there now, I need you there forever, an' I think you deserve a whole lot better'n what you had so far. It's high time we started that sweet life, an' if I wait 'til I'm sure to start it, we ain't never gonna get there."

Jack laughed, a sound of such happiness that Ennis could hear the tears in it, even though his vision was filled with the gentle curve of Jack's muscled chest, the little tuft of hair around his dark nipple. "Cowboy, I think you just might be the bravest man I ever known." Ennis felt Jack's hand on the back of his head again, gently stroking his hair. He heard the _clink-snick_ of Jack's Zippo, and heard the quiet crackle as he sucked on the freshly lit smoke. After a moment, he heard the satisfied exhale, reached up to take the cigarette as Jack held it before his eyes, took his own long drag, feeling the smoke warm his lungs

_Only 'cause you make me brave, Rodeo_, he thought, but he didn't say it.

They lay like that, sharing a smoke together, eventually drifting off into a foggy doze. Neither one of them noticed the passage of supper time, and they didn't rouse from one another's embrace until breakfast.


End file.
